ABOUT ME

Hi Ladies! Welcome to my online diary. I am known in Youtube as a Beauty & Lifestyle Vlogger (you may check out my Youtube Channel), but before I got into youtube, I have already written numerous books on Wattpad and had posted several blogs on my old sites. I don’t want to lose my passion in writing that’s why I decided to start blogging again. This site is about my journey and I’d be more than happy to share with you. Xoxo, Lady Martin

The Truth About Long Distance Relationship

Friday, June 29, 2018

 
"Long distance feels like spending days trying to fill up your time, waiting until you see each other again"

*Disclaimer*

Only those who are in it and have experienced it already, will understand.

L . D . R

It was just a word to me until I was put in the situation. 

Long Distance Relationship is already hard enough to think of, but if you are in the situation, you'll realize that it's a hundred percent much harder than you thought it would be. 

“LDR sucks! It doesn’t work” - yeah, I used to hear that… a lot.

I used to think that those people who utter those words were just bitter. They are the kind of people who don't believe on cliche sayings like “love can move mountains”… “love conquers all”. I thought they were just crazy lunatics who were just so sad about their lives and wanted to spread bitterness all over the country.

That’s what I thought until I actually have experienced being in it.

LDR SUCKS. 

Yeah. That’s me talking.

Seriously, it's sickening and draining. It's really just hard. Hard is an understatement. Most of the time I asked myself “Why am I even in this situation?” or “What have I done to deserve this?”. Seriously, it's one of the worst situation that I think any person wouldn’t want to be in. Believe me. I know. 

If you're in an LDR right now or you're planning to accept the challenge of being in this kind of set up in the near future, here are the things that you have to keep in mind. I'll give you a bird's eye view on what really happens when you are in a Long Distance RelationSHIT, I mean… ship.


1. Gadgets #1 Necessity in Life


Trust me when I say that you'll need your phone, ipad, laptops or anything that could be a  mean of communication more than ever. Your gadgets are going to be your best buds, along with the internet of course. Long Distance Relationships are more bearable today compared before, thanks to FaceTime and other apps, but still... It doesn't make the situation any easier. You'll go to sleep with your phone on your hand because you fell asleep talking to him on FaceTime and then you'll wake up the next morning still with your phone on your hand to inform him that you’re already awake and ready to start your day. You'll have your phone with you 24/7, because you don't want to miss any chance of talking to him because you know that it's not all the time that you’ll get to do that because of your time zone differences. Because of this, you make sure that your charger and power bank are with you all the time. These are your life savers.


2. Time Zone Expert


"So if the time right now is eight in the evening then it means it's morning there and I have to add three hours to the current time"

It sounds ridiculous, but wether you like it or not, you'll master his time zone. You won't need your time zone app on your phone just to figure out the date and time in his country, because you'll get used to it. Believe me... you'll master it.


3. You'll NEVER ask for SPACE


One of the benefits of being in an LDR is you'll never ask for space because you seriously have tons and tons of space. You don't have any problem on being too clingy or being too controlled on your choices because you have the freedom that most of the people who are in a normal relationship are asking. You have a sole control of your life, but at the same time still has someone who supports you in every decision that you'll make.


4. You'll get an award for being the BEST ORGANIZER


I think this award really suits me. LDR taught me how to be a good planner, most especially on my day to day activities. When you are in an LDR, you really have to be good at this. With all the requirements that you have to submit on school or work, plus the responsibilities you have at home, add into that the plenty of things that you still have to think about, despite all those - you still have to put a space on your schedule for you to talk to the love of your life and know how his day was. Considering the time zone and his schedule too, of course. This part is really stressful and challenging since you have to compromise and sacrifice things to be able to make this happen, but you won't mind it anyway. Because believe me or not, talking to him is the only thing that you'll look forward to everyday. He's bringing you stress, but more of a happiness.

5. Pictures are everything


Pictures will never go out of your conversation. Every time you or he goes somewhere, you'll never forget to take a picture and every time you take a photo you just can't wait to send it to your partner. You might think that it's too much, but you'll surely make an album consisting of the pictures that are related to the both of you. Even if you're miles apart, somehow by looking at the pictures and seeing the things and places that he has been to, lessen the loneliness and makes you feel that you've been there with him too.

6. TRUST - BIG WORD


It really is a big word. You must trust him 101%. Trust his words. Trust his actions. Trust that what you both have is real. Trust that he cares for you enough to not break your heart. Insecurities, doubts and other negative thoughts will surely pop up in your head even if you try to avoid it, but if you want to make your relationship work, you have to trust him. JUST TRUST HIM. 


7. Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions, Everyday


You love him. You want to be with him. You are sure that it is him that you want to be with  in every single day of your existence, but he’s not there. He’s miles apart from you.

You are having a rough day. You need him. You want to hug him. You miss him so bad. You miss him so much. You cry yourself to sleep, praying… wishing, hoping that when you wake up… he’s there. He’ll be there. You’re not alone anymore.

You wake up. He’s still not there. It breaks your heart. It pains. It hurts. You want to stop your heart from aching. You want to forget him. You don’t want to long for him anymore. You just want your heart to stop beating his name because it hurts so much. It hurts so much.

But then he calls…

You hear his voice.

And you’re okay… again.

You’ll experience this everyday. 

Everyday you’ll see a reason to give up on him, because it’s easier… it’s more convenient. The universe will show you thousands of reasons why you should give up and let him go, but you’d still hold on to that one thing that’s keeping you going… and that’s the hope in your heart that you two would be together again someday. 


7. LDR IS HARD BUT POSSIBLE


Despite all those though, I still believe it's possible to work. It’s not easy. It will never get easy. You’ll just get used to that feeling, but that doesn’t make it any less difficult. You’ll have to sacrifice a lot. You have to put more effort compared to others. It’s riskier. You have a higher chance of getting your heart broken. It’s probably the least ideal type of relationship… but when you’re in love, none of those will matter. 

Long Distance Relationship is not for everyone. It will take two persons who are willing to 100% commit themselves to it, for it to last. It will take two right persons for each other to make it work. Because at the end of the day, if you’re meant to be together, no matter how far you are from each other, the universe will somehow make a way to bring you two together. And when that happens, all the waiting, lonely nights, longing and tears will be worth it. It will all be worth it. Because I always believe that with the right person, everything is possible. 


Is it worth the risk?”

I can’t believe I would say this… it took me years to get to this point, but… yes, it is.

It’s worth it.

Somehow being stuck in that kind of relationship in the past had taught me a lot of things. It taught me the value of time, presence, effort and commitment. It taught me how not to take someone's presence for granted because it's not everyday that you'll get the chance be with the one you love. And most of the people tend to forget that. If only they knew how lucky they are…

This experience made me realize how capable I am of giving so much love… how much I could sacrifice, how could I be so selfless when it comes to love. It showed the parts of me that I never thought existed. It made me stronger. It made me become a better person. It made me who I am today.

So yeah. It’s worth the risk. It'll always be.